Love And Other Fake Emotions
At times I give advice to this kid who is love crazy out his mind. Lately I feel some of my advice has been not so helpful. I’m not rocking relationships right now. Here is some ambivelant advice that I stand by adamantly though. Ha, it should be all I’m allowed to advise to young kids anyway.
1. Keep it super real.
2. Don’t say I love you, why? For what reason to drive someone away that might of thought you were cool?
3. Be apathetic in your relationship. “Hey baby, I’m sexily uninterested in you.” That’s perfect.
4. Don’t say baby.
5. Don’t say relationship.
This…is what my blog has been reduced to…a sloppy list of obvious shit to get attention.
2 comments February 5, 2010
Things I’d Change
1. My Nose. First and foremost. Two things I’d change, the bridge, and the the tip of it. So…my whole nose.
2. IF I ever have the money, boob job. Why? Because if everyone had the money…let’s be honest…why not?
3. My hair. This is in transition right now. I want to possibly dread it. Then I get cold feet. So I’m just kidding with this one…maybe.
4. My underwear. Ha. (jeez…calm down, reread the title of the post.)
5. Um, electrolisis? I’m extremely tired of nairing my face. I’m a girl. It’s a demeaning feeling having to do that…
Stuff that I like about myself that I used to hate.
1. My eyebrows. They are big, it’s like having an automatic upperhand when it comes to staring another person down. I most definitely will win.
2. My toes kinda look like steps…you’d have to see them to get it. But I like it now. It’s better than monster feet.
3. My size, I used to think I was missing out on a lot of the world from down here, I’m not. I can see up your nose. I’m glad you can’t see up mine.
4. The dots in my eyes. I used to want to bleach them out. But it’s my eyes, I know right? I’d go blind. I think they are awesome now. It’s like my own personal sharingan[nerd reference.]
5. My teeth. I have odd teeth. There is this gap inbetween my right center tooth and the one beside it. I’m cool with it now.
From the description I painted for you…you must think I’m a hairy, short, bucktoothed, small chested, garden gnome. Well I’m not. I was just sharing ideas.
2 comments February 4, 2010
Reasons not to Kill Yourself…
I thought my last post was kind of a downer. Let’s give the world some hope!
1. Sam Raimi is making a WoW movie. Don’t fuck it up, Raimi…a lot of us nerds are counting on this…
2. Unicorns.
3. Elliot Smith killed himself, and I regret everyday he’s not here making music.
4. You might not have to kill yourself. 2012! If that doesn’t end your existence…well yeah kill yourself, but stick around till then.
5. I’ll come back to this one.
6. Chances of awkward sexual encounters?
7. No, fuck that last one, Vibrators.
8. You could buy a goldfish or something.
9. Naruto.
10. It took me a lot longer to write this list…so for my sake, don’t /wrists!
4 comments January 26, 2010

